Wednesday, September 19, 2012

don't shout, mama.

this is what stenni always says to me. like, all the time. i can say something in a voice little louder than a whisper, and she'd tell me "don't shout, mama." it doesn't matter what i'm saying or if i'm trying to talk to her from another room or if i'm actually shouting (which i am sometimes. i'm human. but i try to curb that impulse).
in fact, she said just it this morning. i wasn't shouting, but i had a feeling that i was about to if we didn't get on the road pretty soon, since we were running late to get to jazzercise and open up the building.
but all i needed was a gentle reminder from a sweet two-year-old. that's all it took to make me realize that i should probably calm down a bit, for the good of both of us! we would get there when we got there and no one would be hurt in the process. simple enough!
as silly as it seems sometimes, i love it that she picked that up from me (i used to be the one telling her not to shout) because sometimes i need to stop and think about my tone of voice (not necessarily always the volume, but i am from nj and can sometimes be a little loud). i am not a gentle, easy-going kind of person. i am a type-a personality, a wound-up person who finds it easy to slip from speaking normally to talking very animatedly to finally shouting without even knowing why. it just happens. 
 but i'm glad that this phrase has slipped into my daughter's vocabulary and i'm also glad that she uses it frequently. i don't want to be the mean yelling mom. i want to be the calm mom who looks like she probably has it all together (which is laughable because i clearly do not) or at least won't snap before noon.
so now whenever i think about it or whenever stenni uses those words, i have to pause a second and just do a quick evaluation of my mental state. am i overreacting? am i causing stress? am i actually literally shouting? then i take a quick breather, reassess what i'm doing, and hopefully calm down. it's just like a check of my present situation, and it is usually very sorely needed!
"don't shout" is also a lot nicer to hear than that other lovely phrase "gimme that, mama!" that she's taken to saying recently.


i've got a ton of rainbow party updates that i'll do soon, plus a cool rainbow cake tutorial. i just have to learn how to use my antique digital camera!

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