Saturday, April 6, 2013

Reviews of scary things for which I was very excited but just left me disappointed in the end.

If you're not a fan of scary things and/or major spoilers, do yourself a favor and skip this post. 

Original 1981 Poster. Pretty accurate visual summation of the film.
2013 Poster. Not much to look at, and full of lies.

First of all, I'd like to say that the new Evil Dead movie was something that I was looking forward to since I first heard that it would be remade. The first movie (heck, the first series of movies really) was a classic, and since there were a lot of the same people on board, I had high hopes. But let me just say, it certainly does not live up to the claims made on the poster. Def not the most terrifying film I've ever experienced. Let me start off with the main good points: decent acting, spooky location, effective use of some of the camera tricks from the original,  re-creation of some of the more important/memorable events and story elements from the first film, and even a more reasonable of a backstory than the 1981 classic (in the 2013 version, a detoxing drug addict with a history of relapse is the reason they don't want to leave the cabin). Even the effects were a little cheesy, but not CGI'd, which is a definite plus for me. But on the flip side, I did not end up caring about or rooting for any single one of the characters in this movie (with the exception of the dog, but you can guess what happens there). Also, the ridiculous black humor that made me love the first series of film so much was sadly absent. The buckets of blood and geysers of gore were there, so that was mercifully similar. There were also odd story elements that got no explanation and seemed completely unnecessary (like the cats? who thought that up? and the odd kissing thing?) But I suppose that no Ashe was the real deal-breaker for me.
I read a few reviews that called the film really misogynist. I don't think that was the case. I just feel like the female characters were really disposable and poorly written (and probably not on purpose). The poor blonde girl? You know she's not going to make it to the credits the moment you see her. She just doesn't seem important. The nurse? Well once everyone realizes that they're dealing with demons and not a medical condition, there's really no reason for her to stick around, is there? But like I said before, I didn't particularly care about any one character very much anyway, so it wasn't much of a loss. It's almost as if they were written to care about the other female characters, and so they obviously had to come into contact with the demon first, and then we all know where it goes from there.
All in all, I'm glad I went to see it. It was a nice drive-in date with my husband. But did it retain the cheesy, funny, blood-and-guts scholckiness of the original? Sadly, no. Should you go see it? Meh. If you're a big fan of the original, go for it. But if not, do yourself a favor and see the 1981 classic, and then the two sequels.

And then, although I missed the boat on getting this review to you in a timely fashion, let's talk about the season finale of The Walking Dead. Did you want to scream when the credits rolled (because I totally screamed, and it was both mature and attractive)? I know that we've dealt with the Woodbury storyline for a whole season or so, but now that the Governor has shown his true colors and has killed off most of the healthy adults and all of the feeble, the elderly, and the kiddies are "safe" at the prison, where do we go from here? We know that the Governor, sneaky snake that he is, is out there somewhere plotting his revenge. Will the two nutso cronies he has left be obedient little lapdogs and continue to do his bidding, or will they turn on him like they should have done in the last two minutes of the season to save us all of this agony? And now that the prison is full of people who need a lot of protection, how will that be accomplished? But I'm glad they brought Tyrese back into the prison fold, and I'm hoping that the group can enjoy at least a brief happiness there, since the location is being dragged into next season. 
And now let's talk Andrea, shall we? As a reader of the comic book, I feel like they kill off the very characters who would otherwise move the story forward in interesting ways. When Dale died at the farm, I my first response was at least they still have Andrea. Now? I just don't know where they're going with this. And unfortunately, she really didn't accomplish much of anything. She tried to do a lot of things, but she really failed miserably at all of them. Maybe that's why she got a bite from the world's meekest walker and had to opt out in the end. Seems a pretty serious punishment for just not being able to get herself on lockdown.
Carl and his little trigger-happy episode has shown the audience that about as much of Shane's influence on him stuck as his father's, and that might not be a bad thing. He does seem to think clearly when no one else does (like earlier this season when he found all of the medical supplies on his own instead of hanging out with the women and the infirm), and understands that there are dangers that can't be measured or reasoned with. I like this new Carl, because he seems to know what needs to be done in the new world but you can tell he still has to think about what he'll do because he's got a conscience.
All this to say that I was taking bets on who from the prison would die (I figured Beth, Hershel, and the baby, and maybe Carol), and when no one did? Well I wasn't that disappointed about that, especially since every episode will be fraught with danger, and I'm sure they'll bite it eventually. But when there was no resolution at all? AMC, if you didn't make the best shows on TV, you and I would have words. And those words would be, I'm never watching you again and you make me want to play in traffic.   

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