Learning to Tie a Bowtie: The Single Worst Way to Spend the 4th of July

I hope you all had a wonderful, lovely, firework-filled, not too hot July 4th. Here, it was HOTTT and hubs and I had to finish rounding up all of the accoutrements and trappings he needed for a friend's wedding (which happens to be tonight). While on the upside we got to spend some time in the air-conditioned mall, it was looking at men's accessories, so not too much fun. We ended up buying hubby a non-pre-tied bowtie, because with his electric blue linen suit (seriously), he decided that he also needed a snazzy bowtie (also not kidding). 
Ladies, let me just emphasize here that learning to tie a bow tie was the single most painful thing I've ever had to do, and that the level of discomfort tops that caused by shoe shopping, bathing suit shopping, childbirth, or a brazilian wax. While I would say skip the regualr bow tie and go for the pre-tied, everyone knows that they are pretty much for those under the age of 10 and don't look nearly as cool as the real thing. Plus knowing how to tie many different kinds of ties is a life skill, and you (and the men in your life) should totally know how to do it.
That said, no one in my immediate family or (local) circle of friends knew how to tie this thing, so we turned to the answer machine interwebs. After several incredibly frustrating attempts to figure the whole process out through picture tutorials and youtube videos with hands in the way, we finally found a single good video and after several views and about a half an hour of practice, we got it (now hubs can do it better than I can, so I don't have to...whew!).
Here's the video. You're welcome.

We did do other stuff for the 4th of July too. We had a picnic and played some baseball at the Legion field near our house. We went swimming at my folks'. And of course, we watched the Twilight Zone marathon, at least for a while. Here's to hoping your holiday was just as much fun (and productive too)!

Just what in the world do pregnant women wear for special occasions?

As much as I love Target and Old Navy (and trust me, I do), I'm wondering exactly where pregnant women on a budget shop for special occasion dresses? I have half a closet full of "work-appropriate" (business to business-casual wear and suit separates) maternity wear from when I used to occasionally venture out into the real world. The other half is full of sloppy/stretchy jersey maxi skirts, hoodie tie-tops, and pajama-type items that I attempt to pass off as real maternity clothes (most of which were purchased at Old Navy and Target, since their clothes are inexpensive but don't necessarily stand the test of time super-well). This only sometimes works. 
But here's my issue: I'm about to pop and start looking super-huge, which happens for me at 18-20 weeks (I'm already in that chubby, kind of gross, probably would ask if I'm pregnant or ate too many hot dogs phase). I have a wedding to attend in the beginning of July, somewhere in the 22-23 week range. I have to look amazing, spectacular, and breathtaking, obviously. I have only one formal-ish maternity dress that I wore to hubby's award ceremony last pregnancy, but it's won't fit right for when I need it (I won't be as huge-ish at this point as I was for that particular occasion), and it might be a little too casual. So I've been scouring the internets for anything acceptable and in my price range only to come up pathetically empty-handed. So what's a knocked-up broad to do?
My usual go-to places for formal attire are sadly bereft of any maternity-wear. I generally stick with Dress Barn (even though the name sounds awful, they are really great and have a wonderful selection) or eShakti (great, but I'm not ordering something custom for an ever-changing preggers body), and neither of those seem to be options this time around. I've even thought of buying something non-maternity that would fit, like something empire-waisted and flowy, but think that may just look, well, strange and cheapie. 
Stores/sites like Motherhood Maternity, A Pea in the Pod and Isabella Oliver have a great selection of formalwear for all kinds of occasions. The problem? I'm not a zillionaire, and I'm only gonna wear this thing once or maybe twice. Shabby Apple had a few ok options, but nothing really great and they're still a little on the spendy side.
Anyone have any suggestions? I've still got a little time!

have you guys seen

the e-shakti fall preview? so gorgeous. as i was drooling over all the prettiness, i had to remind myself that:
a. i'm broke because of the $1400 we just spent repairing the vehicles
b. the clothes will look a little different wrapped around my giant behind
c. my closet needs to be cleaned out in a big bad way as it is. despite my best efforts i have both summer and winter clothes in there, and everything in between
d. i don't really need to buy anything except for drain cleaner. nice thought, right? that's a reality check for you.

but the clothes are all are spectacular, especially this red silhouette pencil skirt. it makes me want to pretend i'm classy at all or have any place even remotely not-my-house to wear it.

again, they give me no money or products to say this stuff, they just make me incredibly jealous and covetous.

impoverished fashion junkie. no but seriously.

you wouldn't know it to look at me, but i love fashion. it looks great on other people. i am very conservative in my own fashion, as i generally am in most areas of my life. i favor long skirts and 3/4 sleeves, solid colors over prints, and classic silhouettes, and i NEVER, EVER wear shorts. i rarely wear pants (i think i have maybe 2 pairs of jeans and one pair of white pants, for the Polish festival, plus a few leggings and yoga pants for the gym) because i just don't like them. they're manly. skirts are flowy and breezy and girly, and i like them. and i like longer skirts because frankly, i'm just not lady-like without a good deal of effort. i sit indian-style a lot. i am always on the floor or jumping around with the baby. i can't be counted on not to flash any naughty bits to the world.
in person, i'm pretty conservative about where i shop too. i go to the same stores over and over again until it hurts. i am always at old navy, macy's, target, jc penney's, or h&m. i used to like forever 21 when i fit in their clothes, but now i can only count on their accessories and shoes, which are adorable.
that being said, i wanted to post today about some of the online shops and blogs i love to ogle. like, have you seen the asos curve line? soooo cute and actually pretty reasonable, though i haven't purchased anything from there yet. i'm also big into e-shakti, but you already knew that, didn't you? they can customize like, anything, and everything comes in a huge range of sizes. they are a good one-stop shop. they have casual and more formal dresses, skirts, tops AND accessories. i can usually find way more than i need there. (on a related note, i hate when i walk up to a register with arms full of stuff and the cashier asks "did you find everything you were looking for today?" i know they have to but i mean come on man, take a look for yourself).
as far as bloggers go, i find myself drawn to either mommy bloggers (which makes sense because i am a mommy and mommies generally need to dress for mommy-dom) or orthodox jewish bloggers (which doesn't really make sense, since i am not an orthodox jew, but i kind of share their fashion sense), with some plus-size lady bloggers thrown into the mix for good measure.

i love ally at modestly fashioned. she was on hiatus but recently returned with a new baby! her blogroll includes some of my absolute faves like:
the joy of fashion
a pretty penny
all tumble down: a modest attempt at stylekendi everyday

here are some other, unrelated blogs i check regularly:
smile and wave
girl with curves
already pretty

how about you? any fashion blogs you can't get enough of?

for reals, i don't care that i'm a fatty

because i want this bikini so bad.

it's from lu lu west. (i am not paid or compensated in any way to say this and honestly never even saw their website before today, but you should check it out if you're in the market for an awesome swimsuit. there aren't a lot to choose from but they are fabulous-looking)
they make beautiful swimsuits and lingerie and whatnot for plus-sized ladies like myself (though personally, i'm really just big-assed and chubby). i am somewhat too poor for it, but it is gorgeous. seeing as how i vacation at the jersey shore though, i feel like it would get way too gross after the first time i went in the ocean. also, i know that this model is in the business of selling an image, but who wears such nice accessories to the beach? i'm usually lucky if i can find sunglasses that aren't broken or covered in sand.
that's pretty much it. i have to be off now and do some cleaning and shopping. i have a very busy schedule until monday, when it all starts over again. today is my grandpa's 67th birthday, so we are going over for manicotti and mashed potatoes (i know, weird combo, right? he's a strange old german man), then tomorrow we are throwing a housewarming party for the hub's brother and his wife (the best kind of parties are the ones you throw at someone else's house), then saturday we are going to a beefsteak dinner with my folks, and sunday an old friend is coming to spend the day. if you don't hear from me, that's why.
have an awesome day!