Life changes at lightning speed

Last time I posted, we were a family of 5. Now there are 6 of us. Our little Monie joined the clan in January, and our hearts are full. She is truly a miracle and there's so much going on most days that I can barely breathe. Life has been beautiful and crazy and messy and amazing and I wouldn't have it any other way. A new puppy, Gambler, joined the fold as well. He's cuddly and ridiculous and fitting in nicely. I hope to let you know more soon! Thanks for sticking with me.

What New Moms Really Want

My cousin had a baby last week, and it has me thinking...what do new moms really want, and what do they need? I know that she had a baby shower and has the things she "needs" (you don't need as much as you think you do, new moms. I promise. That fancy diaper bag is cute and all but it will be covered in poop sooner than you think) and we all know too well that wants and needs are two very different things, especially right after you have a baby and really you just need sleep (a shower is either a want or a distant memory at that point). I was thinking too that my wants and needs changed drastically from my first baby to the upcoming baby, and I think by now I'm much better about making them crystal clear to visitors. So in that spirit I'm going to randomly stop by sometime in the next few days with some home-baked, easily freezable, no-prep required food (healthy muffins and nursing cookies) and stay for only a little while to ooh and ahh at her new little wonder, and then be available by phone if she needs me in the immediate future. The reason is this: I don't want to tell her ahead of time because I don't want her stressing about cleaning up or looking presentable...those things are nigh impossible for the first few months post-partum anyway. If the baby is sleeping, I don't want her waking the little darling up (I could do a whole other post about waking a sleeping baby and the idiots who always want you to do just that), and if she's not I won't stay long anyway. Nobody likes it when someone comes to stop by and stays all day, as it wears out the host's hospitality very quickly. I'm dropping off food because real home cooking is a want and not a need when you're at home with a new baby (food=need, home cooking=want). I'll let her know that if she needs anything, I can be there in 45 minutes. But here's what I really want to say: I know what it feels like, so don't put on a show for me. It is magical but it is hard AF and I get it.
Here are some quick pointers for new mom visiting. I realize that the norms may be different in different families or different parts of the country, but here's what I could come up with from my own experience.

wants:

• home-cooked food, as mentioned above.
• little gift for mom. Something she'll use, like a coffee shop gift card or Netflix code or nursing scarf. Something mama doesn't have to share (it's all for her). Little luxuries like this are precious! Cozy blankets are great for this.
• the promise of future baby-sitting

needs:

• someone to listen.
• food of some kind. don't come over without food or coffee. You shouldn't do that to anyone, new mom or not.
• to attend to her newborn, and not necessarily you. If the baby starts crying, that is your cue to HELP or LEAVE.
• an assurance that EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE in the long run, and that she is doing great.

might be nice:

• someone to hold the baby for 10 minutes while the new mama takes time to...(take a shower, walk the dog, nap, play games on my phone, whatever)
• maybe pick up a few groceries
• take other children out, if there are other children

absolutely do not do this:

• plan an overnight visit (or an all-day one at that) if you do not plan to help the new parents.
• nitpick over preferences, especially parenting-related ones. Everyone does things differently and now is not the time to bring up anything not safety-related. I promise you that the new mama will remember this always, and not fondly.
• HERE IS a useful guide of things NOT to say to a new mom, from Pregnant Chicken
• bring your own drama. You're a grown up, you should know better.

Can anyone think of things to add? Seasoned mamas, what is your take on this topic?

PS Ill be bulk-baking my nursing cookie recipe soon and posting the results, so stay tuned!

Life: An Adventurous Few Months

Hi all! Bet you didn't think I'd be back, like, ever. It's been a crazy few months. I know that having a new baby is a big adjustment, but I was not expecting this caliber of crazy. Stenni was a terrible eater but a great sleeper. Cuatro? A great eater (well, sometimes too good...I can't possibly nurse him enough), and probably because he's such a good eater and wants at it round the clock, not such a wonderful sleeper. So our household, which was used to a bare minimum of a solid 8 hours of lights-out, lock-down, quiet time awesome sleep, has really taken a hit, this mama especially. I feel like my immune system's really taken a hit by the lack of sleep and the total lack of sunshine, and I've been sick off and on since the end of November, which kind of sucks when you're already a little beat as it is. We've gotten a ton of snow this year (y'know, being in the northeast and all) and winter feels never-ending, and there's really nowhere to get out and exercise, which is kind of another bummer especially in regards to the rapidly-approaching half-marathon I had planned to run at the end of April. All of these things are kind of tricky, but right now it feels like there is enough sweetness in my house to last me right through til all of this ridiculous snow melts and the sun comes back again (which I suspect will be some time around June).
I will be back very soon with the most delicious tea bread recipe that I've ever tasted, some fitness goals and updates, and a post about doing things that scare you, just because you can ( hint/teaser: I'm doing one of them tomorrow and I'm terrified/super-psyched).

Kiddos, cuddling. Is there anything sweeter than siblings who still get along?

What Life Looks Like These Days

It looks a lot like this, actually:

And sometimes like this:

(Obligatory shot to show you the size of Cuatro to scale using Deandra as a benchmark.)

(This is only maybe 6 hours before Stenni's little brother was born. So we let her wear Papa's hat and shirt. I have to get used to the fact that this is what life used to look like)

This is soooo very different from how it was only two weeks ago. Our routine can hardly be called a routine at all. We eat when we can (thankfully we had a lot of stuff made ahead of time, and a lot of people brought food when they came to visit!), sleep when we can, and the rest? We just make it up as we go along. We try to still get Stenni to school on school days, and the Hubs makes sure to get out of the house to teach his guitar lessons, but other than that we haven't really kept track of the days. We are lucky enough that Hubs is taking off most of November from his "day job" to help us recalibrate our family life, and help me to get used to the flow of things as they are now. I couldn't do any of this without him, and having so much family time, especially around the holidays, makes this transitional period that much sweeter. So yes, that second picture down is us standing in front of our already-decorated Christmas tree. Yes, our Christmas lights are up and the garland is hung on the mantel and I love it. We've been doing silly stuff like going out looking for mistletoe as a family (we've been to 3 stores and haven't found any yet but will keep looking!) and having jello picnics and reading and cuddling together. I'm lucky that our little Cuatro is a very good eater and a great little sleeper, so with the help of the Hubs, I'm almost functioning like a normal human being again. Also, it's gotten really cold around here and I don't want to go outside, so I'm getting more cuddle time with everyone in the house, which is a total blessing. I'm feeling very loved these days, and it's wonderful.

My sister Shlee will be all up on this blog, updating for me at some point in the near future while I continue to cuddle and snuggle and nap and change a thousand diapers a day (I seriously forgot how many diapers little newborn babies go through, but it's a ton). Thanks Shlee! See everyone soon!

Five Favorites: Pregnancy/Babies of the Internets

 

So, this baby is pretty close to getting here. How close? Well, my "sprinkle" is this weekend (don't think a sprinkle is a real thing because of how gross it sounds? Well it is. Proof at MODG, with pictures of her sprinkle. It's a little baby shower, and also something that happens when you are way too pregnant), which, yeah, is a little late, but I still might have time to get myself together before the little man makes his appearance. But like, that's my last actual go-out-in-public event that I have scheduled until at least Thanksgiving. The rest of this pregnancy is going to be spent "nesting" (by which I mean eating the middles out of Oreos), napping, and groaning about having to get out of my pajamas to do simple stuff like drop my daughter off at preschool. Because my whole family will be in town, I'm even going pumpkin picking on Saturday but guess what? No hayride for me. Cuz, you know, the bumps and being super-far from civilization and all. My mom decided that that really means I'm not actually pumpkin picking, in her opinion, but I say bah. Way to ruin Halloween, Ma.
BUT in the spirit of baby-nearness, I wanted to share with you the websites I've been visiting regularly to make sure I'm still at least somewhat competent at this new baby mothering thing (SURPRISE! not so much). Here are this week's five favorites. I hope you can make as much use of them as I have! (PS I'm linking up today for the weekly Five Favorites at MoxieWife.com. Check it out!)

1. The Pregnant Chicken blog. Funny and informative. Useful and silly. Tells me about products I didn't even know existed. Reminds me that pregnancy doesn't have to always be happiness and fairies and ice cream, and that I'm not the only one who thinks so. Also, pictures of cats sometimes, which is always a plus.
2. The Expecting Better: Pregnancy by the Numbers blog on Slate. So, it ended, there are not new posts, but it's a good resource anyway.  By the author of Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong, and What You Really Need to Know, which thankfully
   attempts to remove the panic that's become associated with modern pregnancy. This is a short series that looks at the statistics behind all of those awful things that "What to Expect" warns you could (and by their count, probably will) happen to you and your unborn child, in order to remove some terror. 
3. Lucie's List is really a registry checklist, but it's also a fabulous guide for soon-to-be and new moms. The postpartum page is especially useful because it outlines all of the fun things that happen in the hospital which you may have forgotten about between babies (like how they "massage" the fundus until you want to pass out, and how sometimes they "forget" to take your IV out like, forever). The author, Meg Collins, tries to make sure that other new moms avoid the issues that come along with not knowing what they need (and not knowing what they are getting themselves into). Good stuff!
4. The Keeper of the Home blog. Not specifically about childbirth/pregnancy/babies, but there is a section just about mothering, and an ongoing series that chronicles days in the life of different mothers in different situations (like, moms with a zillion kids, work-at-home moms, all kinds of ladies doing it better than me!). Lots of posts about natural and organic family living and lots of recipes, with emphasis on health of the whole family.
5. Cute Baby Animals tumblr. What, you honestly thought I only meant baby humans? Come on, you should know me better than that by now. I'm pretty sure that when I'm once again staring at a baby human all day every day (not to mention all night every night), just the sight of cuddly, adorable, not screaming baby animals will calm me down a little bit and make everything just that much easier. PS-there's a feature here that lets you pick the baby animal you want to look at, so if you want to see just kittens or just goats or whatever, you totally can.

How about you? Any super-useful sites for new (or second-time) moms, or resources you wish you found earlier? Tell me about them in the comments!

Serious Scores at the Mother's Market

My mom and I hit up the local Mother's Market today. If you don't have one in your area, here's the lowdown: It's a huge indoor yard sale but only for gently-used kid stuff (and some pregnant mom stuff, like maternity clothes, breast pumps, etc.), put on by a local mother's group (in this case the group is ABC/After Baby Comes). Now I'm really not much on mother's groups--I don't want to hang out if the only thing we have in common is that we have kids, and I'm socially awkward in the first place (hence the blog name). I tried attending a mom group meeting once for Stenni's sake (there was a playgroup at the same time) and it just went horribly for all involved. But at any rate, ABC in my town is a big thing, and twice a year they hold a huge Mother's Market at the local middle school. Local moms can sell whatever their kids have outgrown, and there are tables set up all through the halls and in the lunchroom. Shoppers have to wait in line outside to get in, and it costs a few bucks, but it is sooo worth it. There are some serious deals to be had if you know what you're looking for. There's even an "oversized" room (the middle school gym) where people sell strollers, carseats, furniture, Exersaucers, outdoor play stuff, and things like that, and it's all in reasonably good to great condition. Some people are trying to make some serious money and their prices reflect that, but other people just want to get rid of stuff and they will take next to nothing (or sometimes actually nothing) to clear some space out of their houses. In the past, I have purchased an entire storage container full of clothes for $10 and a stroller for $20 and gotten so many great deals on things I'd have paid 5-10 times as much for anywhere else. It's a bargain hunter's dream, and with a ton of little girl clothes but nothing for little boys, I really needed to make use of it this time around! 

Despite the ridiculous heat inside the school, the over-crowding, and the physical labor/digging (sometimes you really need to get up in those storage containers that people bring to find anything worthwhile) I came home with bags and bags of stuff, but here are some of the real highlights:

A cute button-up and sweatervest combo for Cuatro, given to me for free by a nice lady I knew from Jazzercise who just wanted to clear out her closet!

These brand new jammies, see how they say $2 on the sticker? Well they retail for like $8, and I bought them for $1. YAY!

Of course my little man needs corduroy pants and a flannel. He'll be lumberjack like his papa!

Best score of the market? This L. L. Bean ski jacket and pants set. My mom snapped it up for $5.

My mom also bought a newer Graco carseat for $10 (which is a huge score). When all was said and done, I brought home 4 shopping bags full of stuff...and paid about $35-40 for it all. I also got Stenni a pair of tap shoes, because Lord knows I obviously need something to keep me up at night besides the kicks in the gut and ever-flowing bladder. But she loved them so much that it almost didn't matter. And I was/am so proud of myself for all of the bargains! 

Post-Baby Menu Planning...Help!

Stenni talks and sings to Cuatro in my belly all the time. It's adorable, but unsettling how small her head is compared to my giant belly.

Guys, this baby is coming in like, 6 weeks, doctor's count (I'm guessing more like 4-5). I'm like so not prepared. I mean, I have some clothes and whatnot (I still have to wash them though...that's on the to-do list for today), most of my baby gear is slowly coming out of storage, and things are kind of falling into place. But the other important stuff like putting in the carseat (let alone cleaning out the car so I can fit it in there), pre-registering with the hospital, packing the hospital bag, you know, the stuff that you don't want to leave until last minute? Yeah, forget it, I am woefully behind. And things that are urgent and also necessary for living, like putting in the new crib and making a few healthy meals for our family for the hectic first few days (or weeks...maybe months?), have absolutely not even been started. It borders on pathetic how unprepared I am this time around.

Which brings me to my next point: Next week I'll be doing a few posts on freezable meals and snacks that I can prepare now, stick in the freezer and grab after Cuatro gets here when pizza and beer just won't do/when I want to pretend that I'm trying to be healthy. Anyone have any suggestions? Point me in any helpful direction you can in the comments. Thanks!

Also on my to-do list for today: make and freeze chocolate chip cookie dough. Because when it comes to necessities, you need to know what you really can't live without.

The Pregnant Body, in All Its Glory and Horror

There's a wonderful and timely (for me!) post today over at Already Pretty about pregnancy and body image. As a woman who is currently 7 months pregnant, and who just got back to her pre-pregnancy size (after almost 3 years!) only about 2 weeks before finding out I was pregnant again, it's nice to know that I have a lot of company out there in that even though pregnancy is a magical time for many women, not all of the side effects are as well-loved, and not all of the changes are wanted.
It's not easy to always be happy with the changes going on in your body and how they manifest on the outside. I know it might sound vain to some, but for many women, especially those who have struggled with weight and body image issues in the past, the extra weight is just unwanted, and it's hard to accept that the weight gained during pregnancy serves an important purpose! The hardest time for some is after the baby is born, when the body just doesn't look like it did before (Lord knows it takes time to get back to pre-pregnancy shape, and some of us never get there). Even during pregnancy, women are bombarded with ideas about what we should look like. As in: Heidi Klum! Not Kim Kardashian! God forbid Jessica Simpson! Unfortunately I find that on a good day, pregnant as I am, I look something like Humpty Dumpty, or maybe Tweedle Dum (I carry my baby weight in a way that makes me look like an egg. So what?). And the ideas of what we should look like come from everywhere. My mother-in-law, who is thin as a twig, always reminds me that she gained 70 lbs. with her pregnancies but both times lost it all before she got home from the hospital (with the assumption being that I should too). Pressure from the doctor to only gain a certain amount may be very great too, and as well-meaning as it seems this can be problematic as it can send the wrong message, that dieting or under-eating (or even over-exercising) during pregnancy is ok or even expected for overweight patients.
My body image journey has been a complicated one, and pregnancy has played a large role in that.  I started out slim as a child and young teen and then, due to a number of factors, really packed on the pounds at around age 17, topping out at about 250 lbs. (size 18-20) at age 19, right after I got married. Over the next few years I lost about 90 lbs., getting down to around 160 (a size 10), which worked for me even though it was slightly higher than the recommended weight for my height. It was just where I felt comfortable and no longer had to diet and exercise like a maniac to maintain my weight; I could hike and do yoga and even enjoy the occasional treat and not feel guilty and starve myself for days. I finally felt healthy, both physically and emotionally. Then I got pregnant for the first time, and I was so excited. I loved to see the changes in my body at that time! But at about 21 weeks of pregnancy, when I was showing and glowing and just so happy, I had an unexpected and unexplainable miscarriage. At that point, with so much other emotional upset going on, the extra weight, which it seemed I had put on for no reason, was like an added slap in the face. It took a long time to take it back off as well. I felt like my body had failed me not once but twice, in that it just could not do what came so naturally to others (first, carrying a child to term, and second, losing the "baby" weight that in my mind had no right to be there, since there was no baby). 
I lost most some of that weight before I got pregnant again. This time, I carried to term, but it packed about 35 lbs. on to my already-slightly-larger frame. Right after Stenni was born, I was just under 200 lbs. again, and so unhappy with the way I looked and felt. After lots of time at the gym and doing yoga and endless dieting (not to mention about a year and a half), I lost about 20 pounds and got pregnant again. I lost this baby at about 9 weeks, before there were any outward physical signs of pregnancy. But I knew what had happened, and again it felt like my body had betrayed me. This led to a host of other issues and it took a long time to work through them to become comfortable with the way I felt and the way I looked all over again. 
When I became pregnant again (right after deciding to stop trying and start training for half marathon), I honestly didn't have high hopes or expectations for the pregnancy. But what I did know was that I didn't want my weight to creep up and up and up like it had in previous pregnancies. I knew I couldn't exercise as much, but I also couldn't diet, count calories, or anything like that, so gradually, the weight would have to reappear. I've tried to take a more balanced approach this time: I know I can't stick to broiled chicken breast, kale, and watermelon, but I haven't (completely) turned into cookie monster either. When I was at the fair, on vacation, and at my daughter's birthday party, I had a few little treats. I tried not to eat the whole bag of zeppoles at the shore (why hubs thought I needed 12, I'll never know) because eating for two doesn't mean gaining for two. Now I have a healthy pregnancy and at 31 weeks, I've gained 25 lbs., which is about average. Truth be told, I only wanted to gain 25 lbs. total, but taking a healthy approach and also cutting myself some slack, that's just not how it worked out. Most days I'm fine with that. Other days I want to take everything from my closet, throw it all in a pile on my deck, burn it, and wear a toga made out of bedsheets. But I'm hormonal, so I'm pretty sure that feeling is mostly natural. I know that I can get my body back in time but right now I'd like to focus on having a healthy baby. Now I've been told that I look like I'm going to deliver any day, or that I don't look pregnant at all. I've been told that I need to exercise more, and exercise less. People have all kinds of opinions about a pregnant body because they feel like there's some kind of public ownership of it. I'm really not a touchy-feely kind of person, and the only ones allowed to touch my belly are medical professionals, hubs, and Stenni. Especially Stenni, because she's 3, and I want this pregnancy to be something special for her too, because she is so excited about it and really psyched to get a brother at the end of it all. Sometimes she even puts a stuffed animal under her shirt and tells me that she's having a baby too, and although this would be awful if she were much older, at her age it's just too cute, how interested she is in the pregnancy. When I start to think negative things about my body, I just try to imagine it through her eyes and how magical it must seem, and it does really make a lot of the more heinous thoughts about the weight gain kind of disappear.
Just one more thing: No matter what anyone tells you, nursing is not magic bullet. It will not instantly give you your old body back. It does burn calories, but think about the fact that you are sitting on your butt the whole time you do it (not moving around, or even standing). Stenni was a pretty small baby and wanted to be nursed round-the-clock, and I nursed her for 10 months, usually about 7 hours a day. Yes. 7. Hours. A. Day. I'm glad I did it, because she's so healthy, smart and active now, but when I think back on it, it wasn't my favorite way to pass the time. But if you want to nurse, do it because it's good for the baby, not for your body's sake. For your body's sake, so a few squats and maybe some lunges first, and drink some extra water. Trust me on that one.
Right now I'm just happy that I'm healthy and I'm not-so-patiently waiting for my little guy, Cuatro, to get here and grace us with his presence. And if I want a gingersnap, then I'm going to have the damn gingersnap, and not worry about who is thinking what about it or how long it's going to take me to burn it off later. Health is my goal this time around.

TV Guide: The Knocked Up Broad Edition

For real, I am seriously hormonal right now. Like can't even deal with reading my e-mail emotional, on the off chance someone sends me something about puppies because I'll cry for two hours. It's not just normal pregnancy stuff; they're also pumping me full of extra hormones (progesterone injections) weekly to keep this baby baking til it's good and done. So yeah, I keep sobbing at seemingly innocuous things on the TV. It's gonna happen for a few months until the baby gets here, and then about a year after that. And then sporadically for probably the rest of my reproductive years. Then all through menopause. So all I can do for now is try to avoid the worst triggers. I've prepared a handy list for other pregnant ladies in terms of what's safe as far as TV and movies, and what should be avoided at all costs (and what should wait for a few adult beverages and Netflix a few months down the line). I hope that this can spare you some of my pain.

Totally Acceptable Viewing:

• Slasher Flicks. Seriously ok, because they never harm pregnant people or kids in slasher flicks. 
• Zombie movies and TV shows. The Walking Dead is ok until they get to the parts with people and emotions and whatnot, then it's a crapshoot. World War Z was ok too because you never had enough time to connect with the characters before they became zombie feed.
• Sy-Fy Original Movies. I thoroughly enjoyed Sharknado, and not just because I thought Tara Reid might get eaten. These are generally mindlessly fun movies unless you have totally irrational fears of things like flying sharks. This week's Ghost Shark was not quite as good, but thankfully it also did not elicit a serious emotional response (like crying or screaming at the screen) either, just a few comically mis-timed chuckles. Also appropriate are most regular science-fiction movies and TV shows, because these days they're all too ridiculous to deal with real issues that would leave a prego super-emotional.
• Any episode of The Nanny, with the exception of the last one or two (when "The Way We Were" plays as Fran is getting her makeup case in the last episode, I can't help but sob, hormonal or not). The Golden Girls is also, shall we say, golden. 
• Most grown-up cartoons. I've been watching a lot of The Simpsons and Regular Show lately, mostly the latter because it's pretty G to PG and I can watch it with Stenni. Not much to offend there, and they skip the heavy stuff. 
• Musicals. Pretty much all of them. Except Moulin Rouge, which makes me cry like a baby even without the extra hormones. 

Not OK Under Any Circumstances:

• Any episode of Little House on the Prairie. Do yourself a favor and set the parental controls to block the Hallmark Channel as soon as the pregnancy test comes back positive. Trust me on that one.
• Celeste and Jesse Forever.  And I feel like someone should have warned me about this, because they had to know I'd see it eventually. Cute movie, but not even my girl-crush on Rashida Jones could have saved me from openly weeping at all of the awkwardness.  During pregnancy skip this one and move directly to the somewhat-similar 500 Days of Summer, which offers a 50% less chance of weepiness. 
• Skip Law & Order: SVU  if you are prone to watching things and thinking, "That could conceivably happen to me and/or my kids" because while it could, it probably won't, and you'd be better served by thinking about what to make for dinner and who is lurking around what corner.
• I remember watching a movie about Ted Williams when I was pregnant with my daughter, and sobbing uncontrollably when they wouldn't acknowledge that he was the greatest hitter of all time. So I skip the baseball movies, and if you get emotionally involved in sports, you should too.  Hubs still rips on me for this too, so I'll never live it down. Double shame.

 Surprisingly OK: 

• Take Shelter, which dealt with some heavy topics and had a pretty down ending, but was easily handle-able for some reason. Maybe because I've long considered building a storm/bomb shelter and did not think the idea was crazy at all.  
• Midnight in Paris. This was my intro to Woody Allen (with all of the movies I've seen, my husband couldn't believe it), and I might have to look into some of his other work in the future. Aside from the shrewish fiance, there was nothing really objectionable at all in the film and it was just a pretty nice way to spend an hour and a half. 
• I watched every episode of AMC's The Killing this season with bated breath. It was fabulous, even though they kept killing innocent people and misguided teenage girls (and they were involved in some pretty serious business. If you don't like your dramas dark and adult-themed, skip this one), and the ending was honestly kind of a downer. I didn't get as furious with my television this season as I did at the end of season 1 where they left me with the "Who Killed Rosie Larsen" cliffhanger though, so that's a plus (I almost cancelled my cable and shot my TV right then and there. Almost).

Save for Netflix and Adult Beverage Time:

• The new season of Arrested Development that came out around Memorial Day. I mostly enjoyed it, especially towards the end, but I have a feeling that I'd have liked it more with a large rum and coke in my hand. 
• Most other binge-viewable TV series that I want to catch up on, like The League and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and 30 Rock. 

I'm sure there are a TON of things I'm not thinking of. What do you recommend for any of the above categories? Anything you thought was safe that absolutely wasn't (like the Volvo commercial where the boy make that bracelet for the girl at the end of camp and gives it to her in that engraved, hollowed-out, awesomely decorated log box? Because that made me sob.), or didn't think to watch but were ok with? Please let me know if I'm too severely limiting my options! 

Staying fit in your third trimester...Is it possible?

Hey all. I know I do the occasional fitness-related post (and the more than occasional pregnancy-related post...sorry guys, it's kind of on my mind right now), and this one is really no different except...well, except that it kind of is. I've finally made it a few weeks into my third trimester, and with my gym closing next week (and me not wanting to switch gyms and work 1/2 an hour away 3 days a week just to work out for free, and almost 7 months preggers at that), it's time for me to explore other fitness options. I know how important it is to keep active throughout the entire pregnancy, and I don't want to start really packing on the pounds now because it's not healthy for anyone. I mean, who am I kidding, the pounds are there, I just don't want to add any more than baby needs at this point. So what can I do to stay semi-in-pregnant-lady shape? Here's what:
Walking is great, it really is. "They" say that walking and swimming are the two best exercises for pregnant women. But is it really enough exercise to stroll around the block a few times and call it a day? Sometimes, yeah it is. Lord knows it depends on the day, and obviously you need to pay attention to what your body is telling you that you can (or can't) do that day. But mostly I'm used to something a little more high-intensity, at least when I can handle it. Before I had Stenni (in fact, up until a few hours before I went into labor!), I took hour-long hikes with my dog every day. But with a toddler in tow, even one with legs almost as long as mine already, that just isn't realistic. I've thought about mall-walking with Stenni in the stroller, but since I don't use credit cards, I don't really need the temptation, so that's out. I try to walk around the block when I can, which is great because my block has some pretty beast hills, but I can only walk around in the same circle so many times a day before I want to punch the neighbors' yippy dog (and I'm a total dog person...he's just that bad).
Swimming is wonderful exercise, especially for expectant women. It's low-impact and works out basically every muscle in the body. So what are the downsides? Well for me, it makes me hungry (like, super crazy famished) and exhausted. Not that that stops me. The family and I had a wonderful week down the shore last week, and we went to the beach every single day, and I mean just to swim. I don't do that sit on the sand crap. We were out jumping waves and swimming the whole time, despite my whole shark fear thing. Also, my parents have a nice in-ground pool, and they only live a mile or so away, so we make use of it whenever we can (I say we because Stenni is a total water-baby). But, swimming season has about 2-3 more weeks left, and then it gets too cold too quickly around here to try to sneak in any late-season dips, and we don't have access to any indoor pools in the area.
Yoga is nice but can make me feel a little too hippy-dippy, what with all of the meditation and that sort of stuff. I understand that a lot of people are into yoga for the body-mind connection spiritual thing, and that's cool, but for real? That's totally not me. The kind of yoga I do normally (power yoga, or occasionally hot yoga) is really not appropriate for the pregnant body. But I do try to string together a sun salutation and some stretchy, flowing poses every once in a while just to make sure that my body still moves in the way that it should, and to stretch my back out.
Light aerobics are quite useful, and they bring up the energy level a good bit. Think gym class stuff: knee lifts, front and side kicks, squats, marching in place, kickboxing moves (without actually moving around), and that sort of thing. Keep it low-impact; no skipping, high-kicks, running up stairs, or other Rocky-type moves.
Light, no-contact sports with no real risk of falling and no hard balls to hit you. I'm looking at you, badminton. And pretty much only you. Well, wiffle ball is acceptable too as long as you aren't sprinting the bases, because if you can get hurt by a wiffle ball you can pretty much be gravely injured by an errant falling leaf and shouldn't be allowed outside. Skip soccer, cycling, distance running, rugby, lacrosse and tackle football. For all of us. 

Here's what I'm trying to do now: I'm aiming for 1/2 an hour of walking or hiking, at least 3 days a week (unless I'm swimming, which is still an option for a few weeks). Yoga, at least 1 day a week, for half an hour or more. 10-15 minutes of light weight training (5 lb. weights), 3-5 times a week. Anything else is a bonus. I'm not pushing myself to hike an hour a day anymore, and honestly, I really can't with everything else going on.

What kind of workout regimen did you adopt towards the end of your pregnancy, or when another condition like injury stopped you from, say, P90X, competitive bodybuilding, cross-country running or whatever it was you did beforehand? Did you tone it down at all? Let me know, I can use all the advice I can get just now!

Just what in the world do pregnant women wear for special occasions?

As much as I love Target and Old Navy (and trust me, I do), I'm wondering exactly where pregnant women on a budget shop for special occasion dresses? I have half a closet full of "work-appropriate" (business to business-casual wear and suit separates) maternity wear from when I used to occasionally venture out into the real world. The other half is full of sloppy/stretchy jersey maxi skirts, hoodie tie-tops, and pajama-type items that I attempt to pass off as real maternity clothes (most of which were purchased at Old Navy and Target, since their clothes are inexpensive but don't necessarily stand the test of time super-well). This only sometimes works. 
But here's my issue: I'm about to pop and start looking super-huge, which happens for me at 18-20 weeks (I'm already in that chubby, kind of gross, probably would ask if I'm pregnant or ate too many hot dogs phase). I have a wedding to attend in the beginning of July, somewhere in the 22-23 week range. I have to look amazing, spectacular, and breathtaking, obviously. I have only one formal-ish maternity dress that I wore to hubby's award ceremony last pregnancy, but it's won't fit right for when I need it (I won't be as huge-ish at this point as I was for that particular occasion), and it might be a little too casual. So I've been scouring the internets for anything acceptable and in my price range only to come up pathetically empty-handed. So what's a knocked-up broad to do?
My usual go-to places for formal attire are sadly bereft of any maternity-wear. I generally stick with Dress Barn (even though the name sounds awful, they are really great and have a wonderful selection) or eShakti (great, but I'm not ordering something custom for an ever-changing preggers body), and neither of those seem to be options this time around. I've even thought of buying something non-maternity that would fit, like something empire-waisted and flowy, but think that may just look, well, strange and cheapie. 
Stores/sites like Motherhood Maternity, A Pea in the Pod and Isabella Oliver have a great selection of formalwear for all kinds of occasions. The problem? I'm not a zillionaire, and I'm only gonna wear this thing once or maybe twice. Shabby Apple had a few ok options, but nothing really great and they're still a little on the spendy side.
Anyone have any suggestions? I've still got a little time!

Living proof

Remember how I said that I had a really nice, romantic, almost perfect Valentine's Day? Yeah, about that...well, here's the end result:

 

For real. Coming this November.

Coming clean about organization: Stenni's room "before"

This is legit what my daughter's room looks like right now. I know, I know, it's awful! The other day the changing table/dresser combo that we had been using since she was born (which was second hand then) finally gave out and no amount of rigging and praying would fix it. So after I threw the offending drawer across the room, I started looking for new furniture. (Also, I suspect that even though she loves her crib, that little girl is going to outgrow it very, very soon, whether I like it or not, and she'll need a big girl bed.) Hubs and I found a ton of stuff I loved but everything was so expensive! While we could have easily gotten a whole little girl bedroom set for like $800 new, I wanted something space-saving so Stenni would have so much more room to do activities. We looked for one of those all-in-one loftbed over dresser combos and we found them and they are awesome, but guess what? I don't have a $2500.00 budget. It's closer to $2.50! But thanks to my enterprising hubby, who found a set almost exactly like what we wanted on craigslist, the new furniture will be here on Saturday and I'm so excited! It's not the best color (white) but I think we can work with it!

So this weekend will be spent re-doing Stenni's room. I will try to make separate areas for art/music, and a library and reading area, besides where she sleeps. Also, we are trying to use as much stuff that we already have as possible because...well because I can't buy everything brand new! And I will try to make it easy to organize with plenty of drawers, shelves, etc. since this room is always a mess despite my best efforts. When I set up the nursery almost 3 years ago now, I was not thinking about long-term storage solutions, and unfortunately it shows now!

Look out next week for a make-over reveal!

don't shout, mama.

this is what stenni always says to me. like, all the time. i can say something in a voice little louder than a whisper, and she'd tell me "don't shout, mama." it doesn't matter what i'm saying or if i'm trying to talk to her from another room or if i'm actually shouting (which i am sometimes. i'm human. but i try to curb that impulse).
in fact, she said just it this morning. i wasn't shouting, but i had a feeling that i was about to if we didn't get on the road pretty soon, since we were running late to get to jazzercise and open up the building.
but all i needed was a gentle reminder from a sweet two-year-old. that's all it took to make me realize that i should probably calm down a bit, for the good of both of us! we would get there when we got there and no one would be hurt in the process. simple enough!
as silly as it seems sometimes, i love it that she picked that up from me (i used to be the one telling her not to shout) because sometimes i need to stop and think about my tone of voice (not necessarily always the volume, but i am from nj and can sometimes be a little loud). i am not a gentle, easy-going kind of person. i am a type-a personality, a wound-up person who finds it easy to slip from speaking normally to talking very animatedly to finally shouting without even knowing why. it just happens. 
 but i'm glad that this phrase has slipped into my daughter's vocabulary and i'm also glad that she uses it frequently. i don't want to be the mean yelling mom. i want to be the calm mom who looks like she probably has it all together (which is laughable because i clearly do not) or at least won't snap before noon.
so now whenever i think about it or whenever stenni uses those words, i have to pause a second and just do a quick evaluation of my mental state. am i overreacting? am i causing stress? am i actually literally shouting? then i take a quick breather, reassess what i'm doing, and hopefully calm down. it's just like a check of my present situation, and it is usually very sorely needed!
"don't shout" is also a lot nicer to hear than that other lovely phrase "gimme that, mama!" that she's taken to saying recently.


i've got a ton of rainbow party updates that i'll do soon, plus a cool rainbow cake tutorial. i just have to learn how to use my antique digital camera!

don't bite your friends

sooo...i sing this song to stenni all the time. usually this ends with her saying "i'll bite..." and then listing the people that she'd like to bite. mostly mama. but she never actually does, she seems to know that we are just kidding. either way i thought that this message was getting across.


apparently, biting is not that problem i should be concerned with. at jazzercize today, she pinched two little boys today until she scratched them and drew blood. the babysitter said that it wasn't in a menacing way, she was just pinching their cheeks like old ladies do. so she asked me if we pinch her cheeks at home. we don't. but she's running up and pinching these kids so hard she draws blood by scratching. this is something completely out of left field, and i have no idea where she came up with it. it is obviously unacceptable.

so i had her apologize to the little boys. then when we got to the car i tried to explain to her that pinching is bad because it hurts. she thought it was hilarious. i tried everything i could think of, explaining why we don't pinch, getting angry, trying to reason with her, threatening time outs if it happens again (though this never actually happens. i'm not sure how to do a time out right. she LOVES her time out chair, which doesn't work out so well for me), and what was her response? she walked right up to me and pinched me in the tummy and said "i'll pinch baby!"

so we had a time out. and i clipped her nails, cuz it hurt. but i'm honestly kind of blindsided by this new pinching thing, and new to the world of toddler discipline. hubs says she's just "exuberant," but i think that she's kind of a bruiser from playing with papa and her older cousins so much, and don't know how to get her to be more gentle. this is a message we especially want to drive home before the new baby comes. any suggestions?

i am so not cut out for this new era of toddlerhood!

when good bananas go bad

i buy a ton of bananas. they are always super cheap at BJ's and stenni loves them, plus usually i pack them in the hubby's lunch. but sometimes we can't use them up before they start to turn brown. once they have even a speckle of brown, the hubs won't touch them (even though that's when they're the yummiest, according to the chiquita banana song), and i can only feed the baby so many bananas at a time. so, what to do with all of the extras? well when stenni was teething hard, i used to freeze them and then give them to her (with a watchful eye on her at all times, obvs) and that seemed to help numb her up a bit. also it was super messy, which i know other people hate but i think is awesome for babies. but she's not teething hard right now, so what to do with the 7 or so overripe bananas in my fruit basket? i took 2 and made peanut butter and banana oatmeal, which is even more awesome than it sounds. we eat oatmeal a lot here because it is one of the few foods stenni will consistently eat (the other being apples, peas, and fish sticks. she otherwise doesn't like meat very much but will eat shrimp or salmon sometimes, and other fruits and veggies she sometimes loves, sometimes hates. she's a toddler. this is life.), so we make a ton of variations on the basic oats and water formula. but oatmeal with a bunch of peanut butter and some mashed bananas is one we'll definitely come back to. bonus? toddlers love to mash bananas. i'd give you a recipe, but i don't have one cuz i made it up and didn't measure. but i can say that you should use real oatmeal for this, not the super quick oats, cuz then it won't really be substantial enough and might end up kinda slimy-ish, and that's never really too great. but since i had some bananas left after that, plus i had a super-clingy baby this morning who wouldn't let me put her down for any reason whatsoever, we decided to make my super-awesome, reasonably easy, actually healthy and pretty low-fat banana muffins too. my copy of this recipe is on probably the filthiest, most vanilla and applesauce splattered piece of paper of all time, meaning it is super well-loved and i make it a ton. it was adapted from a recipe on allrecipes.com to make it even healthier, and in my opinion, tastier too. i am sharing this in hopes that you decide to make these yourself, especially if you have a slightly separation-anxiety addled toddler in tow. toddlers, despite the goldfish-like attention span, are very good at stirring, mashing, and turning on the stand mixer, and seem to especially like lining muffin tins with paper liners. plus if this doesn't seem to be helping you can just give the kid a chocolate lollipop like i did and finish baking them yourself while you have a millisecond to walk around without a kid on your hip.
so here you go:

v's super-awesome, reasonably easy, actually healthy and pretty low-fat banana muffins

• 2 eggs or 1/2 cup egg replacer (pasteurized, so you can lick the spoon)
  
• 1/2 sugar of any type (i like to use the organic cane sugar, but these are good with white or brown too)
  
• 3 mashed overripe bananas
  
• 1/4 cup applesauce
• 1/3 cup nonfat milk
• 2 teaspoons vegetable oil
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 3/4 cups whole wheat flour (you can use 1 cup unbleached white flour and 3/4 cup whole wheat flour if you want)
  
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• up to 1 teaspoon cinnamon, if you want
  

directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Use paper liners for muffin tins and/or mini-muffin tins.
   
2. In a large bowl, beat eggs and sugar in a large bowl until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Gently stir in bananas, applesauce, milk, oil and vanilla.
3. In a separate bowl, use wire whisk to mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Stir flour mixture into banana mixture, mixing just until blended. Pour batter into prepared tins .
4. Bake in preheated pan until golden and a toothpick inserted into center of a muffin comes out clean, about 15-20 minutes. Cool completely (or don't. they're super yummy warm. but don't burn yourself and don't feed them to your kids until they cool down).

so what do you use too-ripe bananas for? cuz i've still got a couple, and i want to use these bad boys up. waste not, want not.

File this under, "who didn't see this coming?" in the land of the obvious

Paula Deen has apparently given herself Type 2 Diabetes. This was, unfortunately, bound to happen, given that the foods she makes are the very foods she herself consumes on a regular basis (and in all fairness, I could never trust a cook who wouldn't eat her own food!). However, no one ever wants this to happen. Diabetes is a serious disease and requires serious treatment. The link above is from an NPR article about the possibility of Paula having to "eat her words" and renounce the very foods and lifestyle she was hocking. I however, think that's a terrible idea. She's a southern cook and business woman, not a role model. She is not the Surgeon General, she is not a personal trainer, she is not the president of the United States. Let her make her cake and eat it too. She says herself that her recipes should be used in moderation, and just because you see something on TV doesn't mean that you have to eat it. Hopefully she takes a bit of her own advice and starts eating a little healthier, because as far as TV chefs go, she's ok in my book, unlike Guy Fieri who I loathe or Rachel Ray who I'd like to hurl down a garbage chute. However, her condition shouldn't change her bubbly personality, which is what most people tune in for anyway!

Also, this is pure brilliance: stuff that you've never thought of before (or maybe you have, if you're insanely smart and crafty and whatnot) that will make your life easier.
plus the rest of this blog is wonderful too.


And a question: What do people do with toddler in the house all day when it's too cold to go outside? It's been freezing here and we've already made forts and read like every book in the house and made a family band and baked a ton of bread and had a dance party and chased the dog and cats around the house and played crab soccer in the kitchen and colored pictures for Papa and frankly, I'm running out of ideas and getting ready to watch sing-alongs despite the fact that I hate leaving the TV on because it's like baby crack. Also I'm too broke to bring her to those indoor baby gym places, which I suspect are pretty much a gyp anyway. Help!

sorry, so sorry

i haven't posted anything in a while because i had no computer for about a month, after hurricane irene blew through and fried my power source (or something else that sounds similar) in the computer, basically meaning that i couldn't turn it on anymore. i totally dragged my feet on getting it fixed too, because at first, i didn't particularly miss it. then when i finally took it to the shop, the IT guy told me it would take like a week to get the part. That was fine by me, but then when it turned into like three weeks i was about ready to string him up by his ankles and throw rocks at him. still, i didn't miss the computer too much except for the fact that i couldn't check my e-mail or the million blogs i was used to checking all day every day. not having the computer for so long even helped me kick my sims addiction (kind of)! i never realized how much time i wasted on the interwebs! i'm trying to limit for weekday computer usage to like an hour or so so that i can actually return to having a normal life that isn't for lazy people. theoretically.
on a completely unrelated note, i love october for so many reasons but mostly because of the MLB playoffs. they always remind me on when teddy and i got married and how much fun we had in toronto on our honeymoon, running around in the bars and trying to find the playoffs on tv! because of that, we are going to the baseball hall of fame in cooperstown, ny next week for our anniversary and i am SOOOO PSYCHED!!! but right now i can't watch the game because stenni is addicted to yo gabba gabba and despite my feeling that she shouldn't really watch TV since she's a baby, she is being good and quiet and seems happy and i can't argue with that. plus biz markie is on, and that's great. they totally make some good TV shows for babies nowadays. it isn't all barney and that garbage. i LOVE nick jr, probably more than stenni does. plus there are the old standbys like sesame street that all kids love and learn from, and when we get a chance we watch them. I know that "they" say not to let kids under 2 watch TV at all, and i really don't like the idea of using the TV as a babysitter like a lot of people do, but seriously, get real. all babies watch a little TV sometimes. it's a fact of life if you aren't amish. it just is. i still feel guilty about it though! i don't know, does anyone else have the guilt/TV issue?